I’ve been in a funk for the past few weeks. Ever since my super difficult, stressful, unpleasant work project ended, my motivation has waned and I’m unsure what my next step should be. It’s like I’ve crashed from the biggest sugar-high of my life.
My gut instinct is to simply walk away from the job ickiness in search of my happy place, but that’s easier said than done. Choosing to leave a job without having another one lined up seems hasty and reckless (but also brave).
I have been hustling over this time, which resulted in a couple of interviews, one declined offer, and many emails to former colleagues. I’m particularly disappointed that my interview earlier this week for an awesome job did not bring in an offer. I remind myself it must not have been the right job for me, but it’s still sad and annoying and I’m allowed to mope over it just a little!
In my ongoing quest for personal development, I recently read Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Among her wisdom is this idea that has become very relevant to me:
The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is the key to allowing yourself to take risks.
This idea is paired with her concept of the “No-Lose Model”, which explains that outcomes of decisions are not right or wrong, they simply take us down different paths. With all of the changes and decisions I’ve been faced with this year surrounding work, it helps me to keep this in mind and trust that I’m moving in the right direction. I second-guess the hell out of myself.
I also came across the following quote that resonates with me:
I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. – Stephen R. Covey
It reminds me that I am in control of my life and my happiness. I have no one else to blame and am not a victim of what happens to me. Dang, I’m powerful!
This week came time for me to make a decision about my job. I could either follow my gut to get the hell out and face unemployment, or change my attitude and find happiness there. I had many good arguments for both choices and finally decided to stay.
I’m somewhat nervous that I’m going against my gut about the place, but I also don’t want to run away just because it’s difficult or uncomfortable. I want to be brave and face the challenge!
Helping matters is that the company has offered me a position in a different capacity that still utilizes my 10+ years of experience in film. Taking my career in this new direction could be pretty interesting. The salary and benefits are great as well, even though I’ll keep the long LA commute. Susan Jeffers would surely agree that I am saying YES to my universe!
Naturally, I’ll still be keeping my eye out for a better gig and already have a meeting next week through a friend referral. I just need to take life one step at a time and keep my fear in check as I go along my merry way.